Wednesday, July 19, 2006

It is great to be British…or is it?


It might have escaped you as you are enjoying the heat wave, which currently basks Europe in glorious sunshine, but at the other end of Europe just outside there is some hot stuff going on as well. Some idiots calling themselves Hezbollah, sneaked across the border to Israel and kidnapped three soldiers. Clever move, dipstick!!!
It would be like enticing away a juicy bone from a rabies infested Rottweiler and then expect that the dog just lay down…not in a million years, you do not need to be very well educated to work out what happens next…Bombs, missiles, tanks you mention it and it will come at you. The sad thing is that Hezbollah “hangs out” within the ordinary Lebanese population so civilian casualties will be high.

Lebanon has seen an upturn in business since the ceasefire and the ongoing negotiations with Israel has created an influx of much needed tourism into the area as a popular sun destination only a stones throw away from Cyprus it gives you a mixture of western and Middle Eastern culture, with sand and sea…pretty cool.

Well it aint that cool this week if you happen to be British and over there. You wake up at your hotel only to find that the French, Swedes and everyone else are gone apart from you…the stag party from Newcastle and the Smith family from Cheshire and at breakfast a familiar pattern starts to develop, every person left at hotel Babylon are British…how come, you ask yourself?

I will tell you…they all got out, with the help of their governments…that is way mate you are having kosher hot dogs with tea on your own…

All the Swedes went by a rented Norwegian ferry. Some Swedish bloke called the Israelis and told them that “The BIG RED BOAT with the letters HANSEN LINE is now going to sail in and pick up the Scandis”. Then we are off to Cyprus, let you naval commanders now because we are going in…piece of cake…The Israelis understood and Hansen Line sailed in, picked up a mixture of people and set sail for Limassol…No squabbling over who is paying, what will the Israelis do…how do we get them from Cyprus…main concern, get the nationals out now…

What are the British up to in the middle of this? Well first of all they had to have a meeting to see what ships they had in the region. Then they had to get someone to call the Israelis to ask them if it was OK that they sailed in to pick up the British. But before I am sure that there was a meeting with health and safety officials to ensure that the Royal Navy could not be sued, by a disgruntled evacuee who got sunstroke on HMS Gloucester whilst being ferried to Cyprus…

It is incredible to think that this is the same nation which had an empire, Nelson, built Jaguars and Rolls Royce, can with a flick of switch scare the SH1T out of any tin pot country. Here we are together with the Philippines, not the best organised in the world when it comes to supporting its citizens abroad we dither, and have meetings, check with health and safety…enough!
I strongly suggest that with the clean up announced in the home office today by John Reid, we should look at the Foreign Office as well and we will soon have enough incompetent dipstick civil servants, to create a completely new vastly expensive dipstick department, which can go on and screw something else up…what is that all about?

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