Tuesday, July 31, 2007

We have water...well sort of...


Yesterday Severn Trent Water announced that we were going to get our water back, which is just going to be great. After 12 days with no water in the taps I am becoming a little irritable. I have just poured the first glass of Gloucestershire finest and in order for you to appreciate it I placed it between a glass of Coca Cola and a glass of Evian water…

STW, have sent a stark warning to all of us, do not drink it, do not cook with it, do not brush your teeth in it just flush toilets and shower in it, basically drive you car on it…well I am not so sure, I would suspect that if flushed my toilets with it, it might clog the system, nor do I believe that I would like to shower in it…

I am thinking that I am going to set up an instant tanning shop…Instead of standing in front of some 1000W halogen light bulbs I am going to let people shower in my water, this would give them this orange looking glow which has been taken up by the likes of Victoria Beckham and numerous other celebrities…

Anyway; today’s price must go to the Gloucestershire bloke who brought a hosepipe to a bowser/water tank connected it and proceeded to wash his car…don’t you just love the Greatest Britain…

1 Comments:

Anonymous Red Flag said...

Dear Mr Suede,

Washing one's car when it is muddy, watering the grass when it is brown and flushing the loo when it is er - full, is a national past-time. Do not be surprised when Gloucester Man wishes to shower his Cabriolet in front of his fellow-Britons. It is purely a patriotic statement and as such - should be applauded.

Monday, 06 August, 2007  

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