Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Is The Greatest Britain cheating?


Ever since arriving in the Greatest Britain I have been harping on about some old scores. They are great to mention over a pint or two when discussing sport with an Englishman. You see the Greatest Britons like to mention various results such as the Greatest Win in 1966. That Sweden were second in ’58 and third in ’94 doesn’t count, but as the qualifying results for Euro 2008 are coming to an end, England has to dispose of Russia on the newly laid Tiger Turf in Moscow and Sweden has a stroll to clear off Northern Ireland and the Swedes will again be there ready to take on England, a team, to which they have not LOST since 1968. This little fact is niggling away at most supporters, I have heard rumours that some will not even ride in a Volvo or sit in sofa bought at IKEA.

The other Swedish record sitting nicely in Britain is the fabulous five in row wins at Wimbledon by Bjorn Borg. Bjorn was there this year to witness his record being equalled by Roger Federer, so whilst it still stands the likelihood is that it will go next year, so we will need another record we can shot about and I have found it…

The Eurovision Song Contest…

You see the Swedes take this quite seriously. Try to go out on the evening of the song contest and you will have to learn to dance the slow fox by yourself as the Swedes are at home glued to the television. This is a phenomenon which has not spread to the Greatest Britain, yet…Just so that my Swedish readers understand the Brits have to drag some poor bastard out from a lunatic asylum, dress them in funny clothes looking like airline stewardesses and then get them to sing the silly song in front of four television viewers and two television presenters, who later between themselves will choose which one of the silly tunes they are going to the contest. The result is of course a song which is pretty bad, outfits that are hilarious and eventually they get no points and no viewers. So why do they do it? Well you see the Greatest Britain automatically qualifies for the competition as they are one of the largest financial contributors to the European Broadcasting Union, EBU, so they can’t even get out of it if the wanted to.

In Sweden on the other hand it purely a matter of life and death. All other news is pushed off the front pages, radio stations do not report on anything else and television time is allocated to the selection process, the Swedish competition and even backstage the programmes. You will read stories such as, “The viewers did not rate the dress the presenter was wearing”…get it wrong and it can ruin your career.

Today on the 16th of October, 2007 (7 months before the Eurovision song Contest 2008) Sweden had a press conference announcing the Swedish competitions 28 participants which will be battling out for a place to go to the Eurovision song contest in Belgrade on the 24th of May, 2008???

There will be 6 competitions held in Sweden all over the country, called the Swedish Song Contest. These will be held in large arenas where you will have up to a 50,000 strong live audience, millions watching on television. This year there was 3434 entries which the panel of judges had to go through in order to narrow it down to a “manageable” 28 entries (and the arguments have already started)…you can start buying tickets for the competition from Thursday, ticket prices range from £15.00 - £22.00 for a rehearsal?? The actual show will set you back £26.00 - £35.00…then if your favourite wins…you’ll have to fight it out with the Serbians who is staging this year’s competition in the Belgrade Arena, a venue which seats 20,000 people.

Well you see the Swedes are organised, taking a professional approach so how are we doing in the scores? Sweden has managed four wins; ’74 ABBA, ’84 Herreys, ’91 Carola and then ’99 Charlotte Nilsson. The Greatest Britain; ’67 Sandie Shaw, ’69 Lulu, ’76 Brotherhood of Man and ’97 Katrina and the Waves…so the score is a draw…

This year though I am sure that the Greatest Britain will have the upper hand. It has not gone for the 28 entries to choose from and 7 months to prepare, no because it would be totally impossible to find 28 lunatics to sing the songs, they are more sneaky than that…they didn’t have an Empire for nothing you know…No this year The Greatest Britain has imported half a million Polish people and an unknown number of Romanians to even out the old eastern block voting…I shall be writing to the Eurovision secretary to see if it is allowed according to the rules…

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Red Devil said...

Oh, come on Mr E! Eurovision is so last century. Just because you won with the greatest-ever Eurovision ditty (".. how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose.."), you seem to think that singing intensely-irritating songs on prime-time TV is therefore worthy of Olympic status. Get with it Sweden - go buy the rights to the X-Factor for more family entertainment rather than endure things like the Israeli "A-Ba-Ni-Bi" or the Swedish "Diggi-Loo Diggi-Ley". Get Simon Cowell on to the Eurovision jury NOW!

Thursday, 18 October, 2007  
Blogger SLB Ericson said...

This is not about the jury...yet...it is about commitment...Sweden committed and we ae going to win...just see what happened in Russia...

Thursday, 18 October, 2007  

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