Friday, November 09, 2007

Give me some bloody strength…

Welcome post number 100 and thank you for still reading...

Many things have irritated me lately and I am not a violent man but right know I want to use my right to kill…and trust me…knowledge is not an issue, many squirrels, birds and foxes have met their untimely death in my hands…however today I am looking at a bigger prey namely the “Eurocrats”.

Before you switch over and go off on a rant and rave telling me that this is old hat, and we all have a grudge against the “Eurocrats”, I might just be able to enlighten you that you are wrong…I am Swedish man, boy to some, and I know the difference between Fahrenheit and Celsius. I also know how to buy bananas by the pound or by the kilo. I understand when weatherman says it is going to be 100 degrees and by God do I know that I will not fry to death as he is talking in Fahrenheit…The Greatest Britain has been shouting for years how to keep their pound and ounces system and I felt fine, go ahead, I am Swedish so I can work it out.
Ask a Greatest British Man about buying half a kilo of potatoes and he is baffled…there must be a mental block in their heads allowing them to convert the weight. Nor do they have a clue about speed…is it 70 or 110? “Well it is anyone’s guess they say”, and go for it until they either drive off the road…on the wrong side…or get stopped by the plod (The Greatest British Traffic Police).

Well now for the first time in many years I start to feel and sympathize with the “GBM” (Greatest British Man) because I have heard that they are going to get rid of the Kilogram…Can you believe it? This is how it is going to work…

Standard experts from 100 nations…how could you even find “Experts” from 100 nations which deal with standardisation? They are going to discuss the issue in Paris, which is like a political wart on the European Political Map…the most excellent place to place it as they are either going to wave the white flag, in surrender, or decide that we are all gay and we cannot talk about it.

Enter dipstick number Uno, a Swede by the name of Anders Thor from the Swedish Standards Institute…”The Kilogram has to change name as it is not systematic to keep it…what an idiot…not systematic for whom?

On Monday the 12th November they are going to decide if four of the seven units used, are going to be changed, the four up for discussion are;

Kilogram: A measure of weight…for my Greatest British friends a Kilogram of potatoes is 2.2lb
Mol: The total length of a lamp, from top of bulb to bottom of base, typically expressed in volt-amperes (VA) see below.
Ampere: The unit of measure of the rate of flow of electric current.
Kelvin: The temperature measurement scale used in the scientific community. Note…Zero K represents absolute zero, and corresponds to minus 459 degrees Fahrenheit or minus 273 Celsius.

Right looking at the above and your day…especially when you go to the supermarket buying items like “King Edwards” and say…Gosh is that price in Kg or Lb? Or don’t you remember ALL the confusion buying new light bulbs and the old lady next to you says…I can never remember how many mols I need? Or the vanilla ice-cream packet that says clearly “do not freeze lower than minus 789 degrees”…

Well all I know is that if there is someone spending money on this rubbish then there is to much money flowing around in the EU corridors…are people creating jobs for themselves here? Sorry stupid question!

The above systems have been in place since the 1700’s and not one person has died because the mol on their light bulb was not right…
“Mr Uberstuhbahn Fuhrer” Anders Thor says that many students at universities are “irritated” that we still use them!! Well Mr. Thor use you bloody sledge hammer and knock them back into reality…tell them quite simply…Who cares?

So when you wake up with a Brussels hangover, your mol and Kelvin will be gone and replaced with Gio and Bes, Gio comes from a Giovanni Giorgi...remember him? I think he sang with Pavarotti during the Five Tenors concert?

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Killing foxes and squirrels? macho man! How come you let the Russian submarine go when you could have blasted it?

Tuesday, 18 December, 2007  

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