Sunday, November 04, 2007

Greatest British Commercial TV lied to me...


If you are reader based in Sweden or in any other country you might not be aware of the plague, which is sweeping the television stations in the country of the Greatest Britain. We have been cheated by what we have been seeing on the television box. What they told us is not true, and they have taken our money for it. For you who has not been deeply involved in the scandal, all television programs have one or other phone in, you know the type were “audience participation” is needed in order to find a winner or the outcome of a competition. Talent shows such as Pop Idol, X Factor are popular shows, but other shows such as, vote for the cutest pet, ugliest cleaning lady or dumbest criminal have also used the same system. Now we have found out that they…the television companies have not been truthful in the results…Winners have been declared losers and losers have been declared winners, so all in all a big mess. Sweden like the Greatest Britain have a television license to fund the programming for its government/state run television channels something which doesn’t exist in the USA, where the old “greenback” decides who you are going to listen to, believe in, and even worse vote for…

However tonight the “Greatest British Commercial Television Station – ITV” stooped to its lowest point ever. It made a fatal mistake it made a complete and utter rubbish programme even worse than what they advertised. Basically it was crap! Mrs E settled down in front of the television tonight after our 8 hour drive in Esther yesterday, to watch the “Great Divas”, a programme highlighting the great music of some of the divas in support of breast cancer month??? We were old that we would see some great clips of real people together with the songs of some of the greatest females of all times and boy were we taken for a ride. We had four sisters being filmed taking a walk and then a postman called Bill jogged on a tread mill in a supermarket for 30 seconds…Wow I was impressed!! By the stupidity of those people and the build up of great “normal people” doing extraordinary things for breast cancer…I was expecting to see Bill the postman at least having breast implants and the four sisters falling down a ravine…but not hiking and jogging on a tread mill…then for our frock changing presenter saying wasn’t that great? You see when you start to anticipate that your audience is on average two years old that is when you start loosing them…

In my days I been responsible for some live television programmes and concerts, which have might not been what they said on the tin. A “live” concert with U2 from Sydney Football Stadium was delayed for two hours because the band and their helpers wanted the time to double check that the recording was OK. They were only found out when the tape switch did not work very well and started to spool the tape…well we explained it all to all of the broadcasters that it was a “human error” and they were happy…some New Years Eve shows we did were recorded a week before so that the “stars” could spend the evening with their friends instead of with a complete bunch of strangers…Jeremy Clarkson told us the other week that when he is testing cars he is driving them around with cameras mounted in the cockpit. Then he goes into a quiet corner to think about what he wants to say about the car and in the meantime someone else takes over the steering wheel and all exterior shots are filmed…so when you think it is Mr Clarkson sliding the car through the “Gambon Corner” of their test track, don’t worry is most likely to be a little puny spiv with a degree in media…

Back to the breast cancer program…Here I am sitting down and Mr Grade the Chief Executive who has repeatedly told me that there will no longer be any lies in television…still tonight he let his team do the biggest sin ever and, lost me as a viewer tonight. He put on a show which was clearly derived by a record company probably Mr Simon Cowell. Some of the acts which appeared on the show like Celine Dion and Girls Aloud, were told don’t worry there will be no time for you to rehearse so we’ll do a “singback”. Ms Jennifer Lopez was told “Oh you cannot make it? “No worries” send us a video clip!” Then it was all spun around the gorgeous Myleene Klass who did not know what to say or do, so instead she changed outfits 5 times…one for each commercial break, when we saw an advert for Celine Dions new album…No shame…the producer for ITV should get the sack and we should have some people back with balls like Claudia Rozenkrantz, who can put entertainment together. If we were told that we were going to watch a promotional video for artists, who have something to sell, but hey, they are not going to be singing live and some of them are not going to be there, I might have been able to persuade Mrs E to watch “Pimp My Ride” instead on MTV…

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