Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Knut has his first kill...!


You must have heard about Knut, the Polar Bear who at birth was rejected by his mother at the Berlin Zoo. His claim to fame was that he was born in captivity, the first one at the Berlin Zoo for over 30 years. His second claim to fame was the some animal rights activists demanded that they should garrotte Knut as he would be too used to humans therefore never be able to be released into the wild as he would not be able to learn how to hunt and kill.

This sparked worldwide condemnation as people liked Knut and did not want to see small white fury boots being made out of his fur and Knut unwillingly became the new poster boy for Berlin Zoo. Germans from all walks of life flocked to the Zoo to see the little star and have the opportunity to take his picture and buy some polar bear paraphernalia. This is where the problems really started. Berlin Zoo does not have the experience, like Disneyland, to handle long queues and this gave Knut his first KILL weighing in at only nine kilogram…

You see the queues to see Knut were too long so the visitors decided to go and see Yan Yan the 22 year old Panda instead, this was the big mistake. Yan Yan, which means beautiful in Chinese, was not used to the attention and the amount of visitors so yesterday Yan Yan became no more. Without warning the Panda croaked it. Shocking its keepers, who at the time was busy caring for Knut…so there we are, the animal rights activists were wrong, Knut does no how to kill….

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Ban the lot of them!


Anyone over the age of 30, with a driving license, a car and perhaps a wife/girlfriend, mother-in-law and children should read on…if not, don’t worry, make a note of the web address, date and come back and visit when you do have fulfilled the criteria as stated above..

There is a “pressure group” (don’t ask me why it is called a pressure group, I just state what I read…perhaps they apply pressure on someone…) called Break, who has suggested that Sat-nav might be distracting and should be banned. I looked through their website and whilst I did not see the group being endorsed by Jeremy Clarkson or Richard Hammond, from Top Gear, I thought that perhaps they might make sense…well we don’t want people dying on the roads do we??

So what is Break and what do they stand for? Well, they claim that their aim is;

To prevent death and injury on the roads through education of all road users and campaigning for Government improvements to road safety.
To care for people who are bereaved or affected by serious injury in a road crash through support services, including a helpline and literature distributed through police officers.

So why is this important I hear you ask whilst taking a brake from your oily, daily grind…It is important because again someone with very little or no intelligence have stated the bloody obvious and had it printed in the papers…here is what they said…

Sat-nav systems are a dangerous distraction and should be banned! Distracted drivers are responsible for 387 crashes where a person is killed or seriously injured every year according to research carried out by Green Flag, the breakdown service…”They found that 57% of motorists admitted to driving while distracted by something in the car…”

WOW!…hold the press…ban driving, stereos, mother-in-laws, wives with an inability to read a map, and close all motorways cafes, and little tuck shops along the A40…

It makes me wonder how much they paid for that research, and who is sitting at home laughing for having cashed in on the deal?

Number one! Of course a Sat-nav is going be distractive, tiny screen which you cannot see when the sun is out and a female voice tells you to turn right in 50 meters, using Bavarian English, and where there is no road…you will turn, because otherwise she will synchronise herself with her sister Hilda from Munich who is dressed in leather and like to spank men like you…so you will turn even though there is no road….

Stereo…who has not driven from Oxford to London on the A40/M40 to hear your radio changing channels 12 times…you started with Steve Right and by the time you are in Hanger Lane you have the Archers… of course you are going to fiddle with the knob…tune it, back to Wright…

Kids…longer than 3 miles in a car with kids and they start to eat the interior of the car, because YOU wanted to bring a pack of Kipling’s Jungle Book audio cd’s instead of Casino Royal with Daniel Craig played on two 7” screens at the back of your headrest, via the laptop which would have been kitted out with a 3G card so the kids could do their MSN chatting whilst you where telling them to look out of the window to see how lovely the country side is…

The Mother-in-law…the one who insists of telling you about Maureen who just had an operation to stop her from wetting herself, when eating pasta, and insists in telling you all of the details, which will take up 85% of the estimated time of the journey…the only time she was quiet was when she went to the loo, every two miles and insisted in telling you how lovely and clean the toilets where…

The Wife…she who has more power than Obi-Wan Kenobi, but for some reason have no clue how to use the “Force” she will insist that you stop so she can read the map??? If I stop the car I can read the bloody map myself you say…Big mistake, her eyes light up like a light sabre and you know, that even though there is no legal place for you to pull over you will stop and ignore the jam behind you, but take my advise, central lock the doors otherwise the “Rugrats” from the back will be off in the field with Granny before you can say…”Honey let me have a look at that map”…

I am not even going to mention the mobile phone because that is just stupid…a road , on a Sunday morning, hand free call to your mate, who says…take you time to get here, tee off is not for another couple of hours…yes…I can see that that is very distracting…

…and the mother-in-law? Unfortunately she become that one statistic, she was trampled by a herd of cows at a lay-by, near Little Rissington, I did insist that it was not a traffic accident, but the officer in charge did not agree…
so I think from now on Ban the lot of them...I like it with me and Radio 2 in the car, alone, no distraction...

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

HP Sauce is off the menu...!


There are times when I wish we were French, and today is one of those days, because today the British rolled over and admitted defeat…Frederick Gibson Garton and the subsequent owners and marketer Edwin Samson Moore would turn in their grave if they heard that their beloved HP Sauce is moving out of the Greatest Britain to be produced in…HOLLAND!!

This comes just a day after one marquee of Great Britain has been brought back to British ownership, namely Aston Martin…

If Aston Martin fall into foreign ownership there is not much we can do about it, is there? We are hardly going to boycott the car as we were unable to afford it in the first place…and to see half the Premier League footballers out on the streets running around Parliament Square is hardly going to happen either. Can you see Rooney and Beckham with a placard saying bring Aston Back or shouting “Lord, Lord, house of Lord, bring my Aston back from Ford”…not likely mate…

This time we the public have a chance to tell those Heinz boys that we will not put up with their bully antics…and we want it back in the UK. When the French owned it they allowed our guys in Birmingham to produce it…but now after they, the French firm Danone, sold it to Heinz it is being shipped out…to HOLLAND…

What is going to happen with HP Sauce, we have had new flavours introduced, like Chilli, Fruity and the not so successful Curry…what will we see now…HP Tulip flavour? HP Hagelslag? HP Stroopwafel?

Remember that this is nothing against the Dutch, they are lovely people and I have a lot of Dutch friends whom I do not want to antagonise but at the end of the day I suppose that they would not want us to move in and take over Philips do they?
NO it is not right, the same way it is not right for Ford to own Aston Martin, but this time we should follow the lead from the French, lets boycott the bloody lot…lets not buy any HP or Daddies Sauce until Heinz moves production back to the Greatest Britain where it belongs…can you do that? Can you survive? If so, email your friends and tell them…HP Sauce is from now on off the menu…Lets show them that we are British...
Picture Ericson 2007

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Freedom fighters...freedom for whom?


I am a bit dumbstruck at the lack of action from the international community, when it comes to the despair of the poor people of Zimbabwe. I know that us Swedes can not be standing in the front screaming and shouting at the top of our voices because we…the sensible Swedes…were an ally to Mr Robert Mugabe. Yes I know, it is hard to think that people like the Swedes, who make sensible cars, nice and cheerful furniture’s, would have a friend in Africa called Robert Mugabe, but that it is a fact.

What caused this unlikely link between Sweden and one of the men we most would like to see fed to a pack of Korean starving dogs?

Well in the early 1970’s Sweden was doing extremely well internationally. Export was high import lower than what it is today; remember that this is pre-Brighton 1974 so we can’t use ABBA as measurement of success. No…Sweden was toddling along in its knitted sweaters with long hair, beards and in the summer naked on the beach with all those blonde girls listening to music from the Hootenanny Singers and Hepstars (band members from both groups became B&B in ABBA)…

Politically we had started to irritate people globally, because of a Mr Olof Palme. Mr Palme, who was came from an upper calls background, was in charge of the socialist party at the time. He surged into political fame internationally by cuddling up with Castro, claiming support for the Viet Cong, and perhaps ill advised, he expressed, with his friend, Pierre Schori an up and coming socialist activist, that Mr Mugabe was a freedom fighter who should have his support.

In the 1970’s Robert Mugabe enjoyed frequent visits to Sweden, in fact he called Sweden a “Moral Superpower” and became close friends with Palme and Schori. Palme did his best to be supportive of Mugabe, who became a well liked man in Swedish political circles.

Now some 30 years later Olof Palme, unlike Mugabe, met a premature death at a hand of an assassin in Sweden February 28th, 1986 and Mugabe, the “Freedom Fighter”, is starving his people, terrorising and bankrupting his nation. Mr Pierre Schori (does not sound Swedish but he had Swiss heritage), who clearly is an anti-imperialist and very in favour of China and the then Soviet Union, rose to ranks in international politics and in 2005 he was appointed special representative to the Ivory Coast, by the then UN secretary Kofi Annan.

Schori have had a long career in the left of politics, he was appointed by the European Union as an “observer” in the 2002 Zimbabwe election which did not end to well for our friend as Mr Mugabe, his once very good friend withdrew his visa and chucked him out… He was due to be appointed Administrator to Kosovo, but at that time the US stepped in because of Mr Schori’s left wing attitude.


So Sweden has been doing a lot of meddling in Zimbabwe trying to push its ideology and since this ideology is no longer in government lets hope that the new one has some balls and can put together something which will ensure that Mr Mugabe, get a well overdue retirement somewhere in North Korea…

Or is the lack of action due to the fact that Zimbabwe has no oil? What is that all about…?
Picture from left to right Palme, Schori, Castro, curtsey of CubaNuestra

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Saturday, March 10, 2007

I’ve been had and so have you

Finally the truth is out there and I must say that I am disappointed. Because not one of you suckers have called me, emailed me, skyped me or done anything to contact me, to tell me that…We are all fools…6,625,170,264 of us (estimated June 2006) take away the racketeers and cons that’s been fooling us (estimated at 20,000)….

How is this possible…how can some 20,000 people con 6.6 billion people…easy as the professional hustler says…by getting big business behind it. Well just look around your house and tell me if, in the cupboards, you don’t have a bread maker, juicer, sandwich toaster, ice cream maker etc…these are only some of the toys and gadgets big companies have sold us over the years and I know because my bread maker is a Panasonic and they are not a small company…

Looking back, we were told that we need them so we bought them and now? They sit alone in a cupboard with the instructions missing and once in while we take them out and try to use them only to find out that they are crap and back in the box they go…

The latest big scam is all about the environment and the magic CO2, going green, long lasting light bulbs so the polar bears get some ice…what a load of crap that is…

Here’s some facts for you to consider when you look at the ICCP reports (the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) we are all going to DIE…SOON…but if you take the train to work, change your light bulbs and more importantly switch OFF your computer when you go to bed…then we’ll be fine…no more floding and the polar bears will live forever…as they have done…

What is going on here?

Why do I have to sit in front of my seriously expensive carbon free TV and listen to people, with little knowledge like me, or less, telling me every night that the polar bears are dying and we are all going to be using canoes to get to work tomorrow and if I don’t change, the government have to put taxes up, on flights (well Gordon has already done that) then on driving, fuel and God knows when the cost of Baked Beans are going up because of the potential methane gas…why is this happening? Because we are being told that CO2 is heating up the globe…earth…our planet…that’s why!

So why is every politician, musician, artist, and scientist known to man backing this?
Easy…Musicians back it because they don’t know better, remember these people cant read anything longer than a headline in a tabloid, artists well if the musicians are doing it why not, politicians…well the green wave is strong and it is politically correct to support it, which leaves us with the scientists…they scheming little buggers…because they get the grants, the dollars, the old greenback, to do research that is why…
There are reports out that CO2 has nothing to do with the so called global warming, that CO2 follows or lags the temperature of the earth by some 10 years, the hotter the earth, the more CO2, the cooler the earth, lesser CO2 is detected. This is a fairly radical and substantial claim but it might explain why in the 1940’s, when industrialisation started CO2 levels sunk rather than increased until 1975, when incidentally we had a recession due to our friends in the deserts holding on to their black gold, the CO2 went up…so if CO2 has nothing to do with global warming why is everyone hammering on about it…because it is a political agenda to ensure that we can pay more tax, stop some under-developed countries from starting up their coal and oil reserves, and because it feels good.

I currently watched a documentary called the “Great Climate Change Swindle” and love and behold there were some excellent human beings, well known scientist who said climate change and global warming is political agenda and some of those people were Patrick Moore, co-founder of Greenpeace…now why would a guys like that say something like that???

So if this is all going on in an incredible pace what shall we do?

I strongly believe that we shall recycle or redistribute where possible, use sources such as Hydro Power, Nuclear instead of coal and oil, public transport if it was affordable to the public, if the use of long life light bulbs is efficient make the others unavailable by not stocking them, they both do the same job…they light up my home when it is dark…

Do things which are sound and proper to the environment and remove ALL responsibility from government including funding for climate projects, because the agenda is political and not environmental.
Rotting leaves, animals and more importantly the sea omits so much more CO2 than humans…are you going to tax me for my trees which drops the leaves (“Honey the leave counter is here again, did you shake and rake the Maple Tree this morning?), charge me extra for the use of the sea (Sir we have noticed due to your extra large size you splatter around much more than others so that swim will be $25.00...thank you Sir) or driving my car (Honey can’t you mother use the bike instead, it is cheaper and she needs the exercise after her hip operation), send me blanket so I can lower the heat in my house or tax my air conditioning system (darling no not tonight again…you can have the blanket instead)…all you do is collect money…saving the environment…never…doesn’t need it…global warming looks after itself with or without your money…you see the Sun, who controls it all…doesn’t take Amex…


Photo ABC

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Inhumane rights




Sweden has some really warped ideas about human rights…you see in Sweden you are not allowed to print a persons name or picture when wanted for a crime. You can only refer to them as male/female, age and where they are from until they have been found guilty of the said crime in a court of law.

It sort of makes it a joke when the country, like The Greatest Britain, is littered with CCTV cameras. I know that there are some police forces in Britain which has taken the decision not to publish the images of criminals as it would infringe their human rights...which I find criminal…

Back to Sweden, on the 16th of February this year a guy (43 years old) as seen in the pictures, high on medication carrying a moose hunting rifle, walked in and robbed a petrol station. Today the press in Sweden released the images of the suspect as he is now facing charges of armed robbery. Now how ridiculous are these images?

Is there any doubt in anyones mind that this guy is not guilty?

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King Henrik of Helsingborg is coming home


In today’s over-priced and over-pampered football players there are some that sort of stick out for not going with the flow. David Beckham is one…we never read about his antics in nightclubs, drunken fights with team members or being hauled into the courts accused of “roasting” (this is not a BBQ term). Beckham is to many an incredible football player who has made his dreams come true and along the way provided audiences with numerous goals and entertainment…and haircuts…

The player which I believe are miles ahead of them, both in ability and humanity is Sweden’s Henrik Larsson…

Larsson just happen to come from the same town in Sweden as I do, Helsingborg, situated in the Southern Province of Skåne overlooking the Öresund straight, which separates Denmark from Sweden. When the weather is kind you can see the Elsinore Castle on the other side, the setting for Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. In the years that Larsson has applied his trade, he has excelled from strength to strength both as a football player and more importantly as a decent human being.

Is there anyone out there that can remember Larsson being drunk beating up his wife talking to press telling them that he has had affairs with other women, driven drunk, speeding and causing mayhem at nightclubs…I don’t think so.

This man has given his all to his work, excelled in all forms on and off the pitch. After breaking his leg at to places against Lyon whilst playing for Celtic he was written off by the press and those who is in the know. He proved them wrong, came back continued to play for Celtic and Sweden’s national team, scored some 242 goals for Celtic, then in 2001 he won the Golden Boot for being the most prolific player in Europe.

Still the press was not happy, he was applying his trade in an inferior league and had he only come to England to play we would have proved that he is not that good. Well is was not to happen…his family enjoyed their life in Scotland and stability for the children were more important than to silence some “has-beens” on television and the hacks writing for the Greatest British press sport pages.

In 2004 Larsson did decide to move and the Premiere League held their breath…is it going to be Manchester United, Chelsea or Liverpool…no none of the above…he picked Barcelona…why? Because they are the best team in Europe? Because they paid more? No again because of family, his wife is a very good equestrian and the offer of going to Barcelona allowed her to pursue her sport. That is how simple it was…

After announcing his retirement from International football he sat at home watching the Swedish matches with his son when the son said “Dad why don’t you play for Sweden again, they need you…” so without delay Larsson came out of retirement and played for Sweden again…because his son asked him to.

Larsson finished in Barcelona 2006 by sealing the victory in the Champions League by producing his trademark magic running and placement beat Arsenal 2 -1. On the night Thierry Henry, the prolific Arsenal strike said; "People always talk about Ronaldinho, Eto'o, Giuly and everything but I didn't see them today - I saw Henrik Larsson. Two times he came on - he changed the game, that is what killed the game - sometimes you talk about Ronaldinho and Eto'o and people like that, you need to talk about the proper footballer who made the difference and that was Henrik Larsson tonight..."

So with the Barcelona contract ending, Larsson politely turned down an extension and moved his family back to Helsingborg where it all once began in 1971 (September 20 to be exact). He had built a house, and contrary to some reports in the press it is not a palace it is a normal house I know because I drive passed it every time I go and visit my parents, and moved the family in, signed a contract to play for Helsingborg, his former home club, joining them mid season last year.

When the season finished Larsson had helped his home team to a Swedish Cup victory, also getting them up from below mid table ending 4th in the Swedish league. His team mates went for winter training and Larsson? Well he decided that it was time to silence the hacks and the television reporters in England, he signed up with Manchester United for a 10 week contract, joined one of the largest clubs in Europe and again transformed the game, at a ripe old age of 35…he did such a good job of it that the management in United now would have liked him to stay…

Larsson will not stay in United, he says family commitment takes him back to Helsingborg and whilst United fans and management would like to see the striker stay, it was best summed up by the Helsingborg coach Stuart Baxter who said "As a professional, I understand in a perfect world it would be nice for Henrik to stay, but that would not go down well with our club and it is not in Henrik's plans either." Again Larsson the ultimate football player and more importantly the ultimate dad are doing with what he believes is right…

You see…when next time you talk about professional players, spare a thought for those who are professional on and off the pitch…

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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Smoke and mirrors...


You would have heard the news about the cars which are coming to a sudden stop due to “dodgy fuel”…The O2 Sensor (landasond) which measures the amount of oxygen that escapes in the exhaust from the engine gets destroyed because of ethanol having “contaminated” the fuel.

Last night I saw “expert” after “expert”, including “experts” from various motoring shows on television telling us that the mix of ethanol in the petrol might have caused the sudden breakdown of the O2 sensor, and I was baffled…

Ethanol is used all over the world to run cars as it is cheaper, more efficient and perhaps more importantly greener than petrol. Today’s vehicles are fitted with various sensors that will check the input and output of fuel in the engine and whilst a mixture of 85% ethanol/15% petrol will require Teflon coating on those sensors, you should still be able to run a tank or two without having any problems. On that conclusion are we supposed to believe that the petrol being sold at the moment in the “contaminated” garages is higher than 85% ethanol…I don’t think so…

In Sweden, where the cars, the same specification cars as we have here apart from the steering wheel which is placed on the right hand side, run on a mixture of ethanol/petrol without any problems. Saying that, the higher the ethanol/petrol ratio you have might make your car a bit difficult to start when temperatures hit -15 degrees centigrade, not a factor in this country with global warming heating us up…so what is gong on here…

Is this an elaborate ploy by someone with hatred towards ethanol? Are the oil companies worried that we are going to go green and not buy their black gold any more?

One thing is for sure…the “experts” on the telly vision has not done their job properly…what is that all about…

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