Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Ericson Flashes Phone!


I just wanted to say...


When you buy a mobile phone in the UK via a network provider they stick their own customised software on the phone, which is what happened to my P990i SonyEricsson mobile. It has been a nightmare, shutting down not working properly and more irritable than a Polish Plumber chopping his chopper off in a restaurant…

So I took my phone to “reputable” phone shop to have it removed, not illegal nor is it making the phone void it just makes it better…after one week of excuses I got my treasured phone back and was told sorry they could not do it…

Not to be beaten I decided to investigate and do it myself…you see I am quite technology minded, and instead of paying the £20.00 to reset my phone I did it via some Polish blokes (still with their members intact) in Warsaw online, at the HUGE cost of £4.00 so all in all excellent…I learnt something, got it cheaper and now have a powerful tool to play with…I therefore would like to open the SonyEricsson re-branding shop…

Trust me…I am Swedish….I know what I am doing...

Labels: , , ,

Don't blame John Logie Baird...



I read an article in the papers where a psychologist has indicated that watching television is going to give you 15 different illnesses, everything you can think of is on the list, some are set out here;

Obesity
Heart disease
High cholesterol
Cell DNA Mutation
Cancer
Autism

Alzheimer ’s disease
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder ADHD

Great isn’t it…

We have now taken away the last outpost for kids to enjoy…Think about it for a second. Before, kids would run around outside until it got dark, drink water from the hosepipe, make go-carts from orange boxes and a couple of old pram wheels, no brakes of course.

We would share an apple between us; sleep outside in tents in summer. If you were lucky you got a penknife, I didn’t, my mum did not agree with knives, so you could carve sticks to play Cowboys and Indians…Kids were taunted, the thin ones got called Biafra, the fat ones got called fatty, kids with glasses “four-eyes”…in the summer we would go to the beach, spend all day with friends in and out of the water, sun block? What’s that?

That is the way things were…kids got hurt, fell off a tree, cut their leg, bruised their arms, they eat proper food, rode their bikes, played sport, and when night came they were so tired they went to sleep…

Today’s kids have a rough ride, and I don’t really blame the kids it is the people who claim to be in charge that make the kids what they are today, parents and “do-gooders” who has been given some form of authority.

Kids can’t go out anymore, because they will be attacked, molested and kidnapped, by people who should be in prison, but they are not because it is inhumane. They cannot climb trees because they will damage the trees thus destroying the climate and we will be flooded, plus more importantly if they fall down the parents will sue the owner of the tree…how can you own a tree? Ride your bike to your friends house…forget it…firstly you will need your helmet, high visibility jacket, lights on the bike, kneepads, locks, gloves and a degree in town planning and the highway code just in case you fall off and injure yourself, so it is easier to stay at home or let you mum drive you over…

Use a hammer or any hand tools are out of the question, just go into any DIY store and look at the warnings attached to every implement sold, it is incredible. On a chain saw I bought and it says in the instructions “do not try to stop chain by using hands”…I have friends which are adults that have never hammer a nail in, cut a plank of wood or used an axe…how is that possible?

So kids are now being driven to school, where they attend classes run on PowerPoint presentations, whilst texting each other on their mobile handsets. Sport or Physical Education is not mandatory and if it is, it only happens every fortnight. Kids stand around and look at each other because they are not allowed to play football or rugby and playing conkers in the autumn is out of the question, it is far too dangerous…

After school activity consists of television, play station and surfing…internet that is, can’t go to the beach because the toxin levels are far too high and water is dangerous… you might drown, and stay out of the sun…

So that leaves our little “darlings” with the list of illnesses set out at the top and whilst our little “autistic, mutant, forgetful, tubs of lard” grows up they start to complain why there are no jobs, so they all get into the legal profession because the suing business is booming and we as a nation will have to start to import skilled workers from poorer nations where they still have the skill set to live…

So don’t blame the television, if you need someone to blame, blame yourself for being so stupid in the first place…

Labels: , , ,

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Service for fools...


It might have escaped you that recently, customer service in the Greatest Britain has been in decline. I know it is hard to believe but it is true, just ask Edwina Currie if you don’t believe me or go into any store in any part of the country and you will be met by two kinds of persons working there.

The smiling little spiv who will do anything to ensure that you yourself will have to find the article you are looking for, find out the price and if he could, have you to put the money in the till without him doing “sweet jesus”. He will happily take your money for a substandard service and most likely for a substandard product. His goal is to get through the day with having done as little work as possible but charging the utmost for it.

The second person you are likely to meet is Sharon and Tracy. The airheads who stands filing their nails, chatting on the mobile, talking to other members of staff whilst customers are rampaging through the store trying to find the items they are looking for, finding out the price as price labels are non existent, and having the birdbrains pointing to you and saying “its over there love, somewhere”, “well if you know where it is why don’t you come and show me?” “Cant at the moment I am serving on the till”, is the most likely reply…

Why has this country become like this? Is it because we introduced the minimum wage? Does that mean that people working in retail and service who are paid the minimum wage should only do the minimum?

I am not suggesting that we go the American way, where everyone is smiling telling you “to have nice day now!”, or when you enter a shop they smile from ear to ear asking you “how are you today?” “Mind your own bloody business”, should be the polite answer, but being brought up to be a nice person you tell them you are fine. Well I suggest that next time you tell them that your wife has left you for another woman, your kids are bleeding you dry, your boss is an idiot and at the moment you are in hiding from the bank, as you are overdrawn on your account…that would wipe the smile of their faces…on they other hand they would probably just serve you and when you leave they would say “Don’t forget to have a nice day now”…

No I am asking for the simplest possible service, spot what is going on in your store, if you see someone helplessly wandering about, go and ask them if you can help them. Be polite, learn English so you can communicate with the customers, words like please and thank you comes to mind…

We visit Sweden regularly and without fail when Mrs E enters a store someone will come up and ask, Kan jag hjälpa till med något?”, Mrs E answers that she is English and the person switch over to their rusty but sufficient school English and tries their best. I am not sure if it is that Swedish people do not trust us, when we go into their establishment, perhaps they think we are there to steal something? In any case the experience is wonderful and so much more civilised.

Most of the high street stores in the Greatest Britain spend so much on advertising, enticing us into their stores. I cannot sit at home and watch commercial television without being told 15 times about Snow Patrols new single is now out!! Then when I get to the store I am met by ignorance and stupidity…what should be a decent experience end up being a nightmare. “Sorry we are out of stock” “OK when do you get new ones in?” “I don’t know do I?” is the answer. “Can I speak to the manager and ask him?” “No…he is on his break isn’t he?”…by now you want to take the nearest CD and show it down their neck…but you resists…just

Then when I get home and watch the news I am being told that spending on the high street is down and internet spending is up…duh…did they need a group of analysts to work that one out?

I suggest that they spend less on advertising and more on training their staff, if need be, pay them per smile and pleasantries…not the guy in the warehouse though as he is probably on drugs and are smiling all the time…

Finally the pub…it cannot get more British than that…a pub selling ale and beers…a place where people come in to relax, have a drink, chat with friends, meet to discuss important issues and even sealing that deal they just discussed…what has happen there?

As you enter the pub, Mr Bartender, not a large, wise, worldly man, as it used to be, who told you anecdotes about previous customers, who would tell how when he travelled though India and the Far East he would live on beer and fermented eggs and would make your visit to his pub more memorable than when your wife gave birth to your firstborn…no not anymore…today’s bartender is more likely to be some spotty kid who’s height of travel was coming to work on the 74 bus, once he went to Paris with the school but cannot remember what he saw. He did not get the part when the boss told him to greet the customer when they arrive to the pub…no no no…now you are greeted by Snow Partol’s latest single blaring out from the speakers so loud that you cannot even hear yourself think….

He will stand there talking to his mate, whilst you are standing at the other end of the bar. You know that he saw you but is still talking some nonsense to his friend, whilst you are making origami out of the soaked beer mats. He finally, after you had done more coughs than Major Ingram had in “Who wants to be a millionaire?”, comes over and without a smile says…yeah…not Good afternoon, what can I get you? Just a short yeah…you give him your order, ask to see the food menu which is far too much for his brain to compute. The wine is warm because he did not know that he was going to have customers ordering Rose wine on a hot day, and he points towards a chalk board, as he has been told that it is politically incorrect to say black board for the food. You take your drinks sit down ask for a cloth to clean the table and remove the 500 cigarette butts left from the previous nights quiz. As he approaches you he brings his soaked cloth passing the black board and wipes out half of the items on the menu, leaving only sandwiches and soup of the day. When you ask him why the food is not available he says, “We did not have all the deliveries this morning, did we?”

Twelve packets of crisps later you leave, swearing never to return, but then a week later you are back again, in the hope that there has been some changes, which of course there hasn’t…so who is the fool, them or us?

Labels: , , ,

Sunday, April 01, 2007

1st of April...time to speak again...


Today is a bit of funny day...it is the 1st of April…now I know, to many of you, it is the day when people get together and play tricks on each other, but for me it is more than that…this when death brought my friend and I back together…

I really don’t know how all of this happened but if you look back on your own life there will always be someone, who you might have lost touch with, and with whom you might still want to talk to, and today was one of those days…

A lovely old woman introduced me to my friend a along time ago, she got us talking and we became friends…now some 20 years later she passed away and again she managed it…she got her grandson and me talking again…

You see, my old friend went off and got married, so did I…he knows nothing about me and I know nothing about him…I know he has kids, a wife and I know in which country he lives…that is about it…no knowledge about which car he drives, music he likes (White Snake and Led Zeppelin might be high on the list though)…no idea where he has been on holiday or even if he has been to the UK…that is just the way things are…

Looking back at time…there are things that you remember and cherish, and I am no different person, I remember the first time my friend showed me how to shoot starlings with a shotgun (as they eat the cherries)... he also showed me that old chicks that do not lay eggs needs their necks chopped off. He was also a master of the old Massey Ferguson and together we picked 100,000 tons of potatoes, cut more cabbage and sorted out more cauliflower that you can see in the supermarket…you got it we came from the countryside…no concrete kids here my friend…

But as time goes by, we lost touch and it was only through death we got together…his grandmother died, and that is how after 20 years we started to talk again…

I'll take it that if we met on the ice hockey rink, we would be as wobbly as each other but give us another water-ski boat, named John-Arvid, and we would be there showing the kids how to waterski like a pro…

Isn't it funny that after a long time, you remember the small things…which make no sense to anyone else, but if you have a friend…make sure you call him or her today…don’t let grandma die before you do…

Labels: