Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Pink Cadillac in your drive?


Who is allowed to use the word gay nowadays? I know for sure that anyone who is heterosexual is not allowed to use it and if you do…you’ll get your wrist slapped. I watched the latest episode of Top Gear, now here is a Motley Crew which frequently misuses words, and they drove from Miami to New Orleans in some pretty cheap cars ($1,000 each), setting themselves up for ridicule along the way…in other words a normal Top Gear programme. The beauty of Top Gear is that it does exactly “what it says on the tin”…

One part of their journey was driving through Alabama, strong republican, right wing; sort of don’t mess with the hicks’ kind of town. They painted slogans on their cars in order to see the reaction from the locals…slogans included “Hilary Clinton for President”, “Country and Western music sucks” and finally “Man-Love” on a pick up truck, in pink…then at a petrol stop in deepest South they were stoned by the locals…

I sat back and laughed together with the other 6 million viewers telling Mrs E that tomorrow will bring a lot of complaints from the viewers. But how wrong I was…so far I have not seen a single complaints regarding the episode in question but I did find a complaint against the show regarding a different episode…I know that is not very difficult as they receive at least one complaint for every episode, which is broadcast…why don’t people just switch off rather than sitting there and complain about a programme they don’t like?

So here is the complaint I found on the BBC complaints website

Four viewers complained about a remark in which Jeremy Clarkson referred to a particular car was “gay” which they took being derogatory use of a term for homosexual people…The Executive producer of Top Gear has reminded the presenters and the production team of the importance of avoiding derogatory references to sexual orientation….

What?

Why is it that gay people can call other gay people, gay but heterosexual’s can’t use the term? So I decided to go and have a look if cars are promoted to be gay or not and to, the four viewers who complained, it should come a huge surprise that gay businesses, people trading on the pink pound are using the term referring to cars all the time.

The website About Gay have a list presenting the top gayest cars of 2006;

Gay Professional car - BMW 5 series

Best car for Gay new family - Saab 9-5 Wagon

Best Dragwagon - Kia Sorento

Most likely Down Low Cruiser - Chevrolet Impala

Best Twinkmobile - Mini Cooper

Car Talk have a webpage dedicated to The Ultimate Gay and Lesbian Cars, Gay Wheels claim to be a gay friendly automotive source, whatever that is…

So again with new laws being hammered out by this ever protective government, laws should be for everyone including gays, so get off you high Brokeback Mountain Horse and let us all have a share of the pink pound…and do not forget to laugh every now and then…

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Saturday, January 06, 2007

Greatest Britain votes wisely…


Christmas is over, New Year has arrived, the Turkey carcass is now comfortable in the freezer waiting for spring when it will be defrosted and with a piece of ham be converted to Turkey soup.

It is on the matter of Turkeys that I have been drawn lately, not because mine was particularly over-cooked, over-priced or in anyway supported by a overprized supermarket chain… no it is the small matter of “Turkeys” which we have lately seen running things... From the Enron debacle with Ken Lay to the smaller matters such as The United States of America and the Greatest Britain, has been bothering me lately and I am sure it has you too..., correct?
We sort of hate Turkey don’t we? Come Christmas we buy the most ugliest bird, cook it and then scoff down the sucker with way too many roast potatoes and far to many Brussels sprouts, which inevitably will harm your new measured carbon foot print. Who says that flying jets is hurting the environment? Go for the sprouts and you’ll find more damage, not just in bedrooms, but in the ozone layer. I can see a black market trading starting on sprouts…

So back to Turkeys…Why is it that we choose “Turkeys” such as George Walker Bush, Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, Robert Gabriel Mugabe, and Saparmyrat Ataýewiç Nyýazow (former leader of Turkmenistan) to run our countries? We all know that they lie…steal, in for the fame, the status and the girls…but still we want them to work for us… where is the sense in that?

Just look at “Georgie”… “I will protect Americas interest”!!! Right, sure you did mate…you crashed into Iraq with no exit plan some 3,000 dead soldiers, un accounted dead Iraqi civilians, and at a cost of billions, your dollar is weak, market economy is SH1T and still you believe that you know what you are doing.
“Tone”, over in the Greatest Britain of all, promised education, education, education (just in case we didn’t get it the first time) and we ended up with taxes, taxes, taxes (Tone just in case you and Gordon didn’t get it the first time)…immigration which is out of control, plus we have some 30,000 service personnel shooting at people in some 30 countries, with crap armour and their spouses are living in crappy accommodation. This doesn’t worry “Tone” too much as he spends his family holiday in Miami staying at the Bee Gee’s Villa…so no worries there…

Mugabe…well where do we start? He has raped and pillaged (in such a fashion that he is giving the Vikings a bad name) the country for 26 years now and once a prosperous beautiful place it is starving, people are dying and “Bobby” is just getting richer. Saparmyrat…well he checked out some weeks ago…heart attack…God bless, shame that there was no-one to film it and stick it on the web…

You see all of these guys have something in common…they are all liars…self promoting megalomaniacs…looking for the next deal which will make them richer, all in the name of “Honour of Public Office”…ENOUGH!!!

I think that from now on we should only vote for people that say what they think…and make it publicly clear what they want and what they stand for which is why I wish to nominate Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minster…

Before you click off and get you knickers in a twist hear me out…Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson, has no political ambition, he does not need the fame, nor the money (his mum invented Paddington Bear for heavens sake, how cool is that…) therefore there will be no conflict of interest. He has a political name, Charles and Robert…sounds great, doesn’t it…just look at Mugabe and Blair they copied his names. Furthermore Rt. H. Jeremy C. R Clarkson is known to say what he thinks, probably constrained a bit under the shroud of BBC’s politically correct patrol, but when let loose he goes for it…

Just look at him when he punched that bloke who was the editor of the Mirror…whatever his name is…(I believe he is doing some cable TV in the US at the moment for Simon Cowell) or that time he was on the last flight of Concord (since I don’t have an alliance to the French I shall not add the E at the end…it is my right) when he chucked champagne all of the same cable TV presenter bloke…hilarious… and he does a nice photo shoot...

You see someone like Jeremy would be great…because we know what he thinks and what he stands for…unless he has been lying to us in all those DVD’s and television motoring shows for years…surely he hasn’t? Has he?...

No of course not…this is the guy we need at the top…no ifs and no buts just get on with it…

We would have a total ban on speed cameras…
No speed limits, apart from outside schools, where parking would be abolished and if you parked to drop of your child you would be jailed…YES!!!
Abolish the congestion charge
Free public transport, thus allowing people with fast cars to drive on the roads…fast
Abolish ASBO’s and get the buggers to do unpaid jobs like litter picking, public toilet cleaning, walking dogs for old ladies when it rains…all wearing PINK jumpsuits…
Invade a rich country with no guns so we could get some loot…sorry that is what the present guys do…

anyway

The list is long and I am sure that you agree it is now time to vote for someone who says the way it is…Therefore Vote Clarkson for Prime Minster and get the Greatest Wheels of Britain moving…we might even get a car manufacturing plant set up…

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