Thursday, January 11, 2007

iWish iBrand Apple would make me an iMaid


No one could have escaped Steve Jobs lately…sorry there might be some of you 2 billion users of PC’s who has no clue who Steve Jobs is, but to the 60 million give and take a few Mac users HE IS GOD….yesterday he announced the new i-doda i-yobbie, toy called iPhone…give me a break will you…

Recently I watched an interesting program about the history of the music scene in LA staring from about 1967 with the Byrds taking us through to the Eagles with guys like David Geffen sitting down and telling me the reason behind the huge success of his record company was due to the fact that he had no contracts with the artists…Great David…most of your clients at the time were so stoned that they had no clue what they were saying nor would they have had a clue what they were signing so what’s the big deal?

The big deal was all about FREEDOM…going against the flow and telling corporate America to stick it where the sun don’t shine…excellent philosophy but you see behind the scenes there was a big flaw of the plan. The biggest hippie band of all times Crosby Stillls Nash and Young sold out to corporate America and went on a world tour with Jumbo jets (there goes the carbon foot print again) limos, and several trucks…for four guys with acoustic guitars…well I never…

Little did we know at the time that around the corner a band with roots in deepest Texas (the song Desperado gave it away) mixed country and western with folk music talking to the masses and in pure hippie style, set out on a stadium tour….What a stadium tour!!…These are folk singers, singers of the people….I am sorry sir but I have to inform you that you are incorrect… The band called the Eagles might sound like they are just like us but no…they are there for the "old green back"…the mighty dollar (well not so mighty at the moment, I can get two of those suckers for just one of my little Stirling coins) which brings me back to Mr Jobs…the Geffen of the 21st century and saviour of Macworld….

Having started my career on a Macintosh Lite25 I thought that someday someone will make these machines good and useful…but hey I was so wrong as they made them cool and useless instead.
Which is why there is only some 60 million hippies which has not understood that you get more power from other equipment and file sharing is 10 times easier…but you see Mr Jobs was a smart guy, he though that the evil Mr. Gates is gaining advantage so he needed to invent something to tie his dipsy customers in…so he invented the letter “i”…What a clever man he he is...he knew what dimwit customers he had…

Imagine the meeting one morning at Macworld and bearded Eagle listening freaks are sitting around the table and Mr Jobs says “i” the crowd says “ohhhh” Jobs says no not “ohhhh”…”i”…the crowd goes “i”…

From that day the iPod is born, the iMac, the iTunes, the iSight and now…love and behold…the iPhone…people which looks like they should have been on Sunset Strip in 67 before the corporate takeover, are queuing outside Macworld for a peek at the latest i….almost like a peepshow in Amsterdam or Hamburg (no offence to these two lovely cities) nor to the ladies who applies their trade in the iBooth…and they believe that they are going against the flow...no corporate America here my friend...right...you iDipstick

Never has there been such a surge for the latest iProduct and whilst Jobs does his show…calling jokingly to the local Starbucks from the stage, to prove it can make a phone call, and ordering 4000 coffees (well it is in America so we are talking about 2 pints of hot milk with a hint of coffee per person) he shows of the gadgetry of the new iPhone which can do everything you want…but better…so if you are ready here’s the lowdown…

Video – It has a wide screen
Phone – It will make and receive calls
Internet – You can surf the net
Touch- it has a touch screen

I am sure that there are people out there now jumping up and down with joy…I am sorry if you are three years old and can read this you are too young and need to ask your parents first to buy one…but if you are over voting age with a mental capacity to decide right from wrong you must be able to see that inventing a phone with those qualities and sticking an “i” in front of it will not just do…so here is what I suggest to Mr Jobs.

Go away and stop playing to the hippie crowd and do something useful...invent an iMaid…

Downloadable from the net via one of your iGadgets/iMacs it will clean, wash, cook and be handle my invitations to the local fox hunt, come spring…and most importantly run on rechargeable batteries…then I will be impressed….
What’s that all about…iCare? iDont...

Update 11 January, 2007 12:12 GMT
Just a day after Apple launched its new iPhone, Cisco Systems has filed the case of trademark infringement against Apple in federal court Wednesday, for using the iPhone name.
Cisco has owned the trademark "iPhone" since 2000. Cisco's Linksys, makers of networking products, use the trademark for its Voice over Internet Protocol, or VoIP products.
Apple CEO Steve Jobs launched Apple's iPhone this week, which comes equipped with touch-screen-controlled cell phone device that plays music, surfs the Web and delivers voicemail and e-mail.

Apple responded to the lawsuit by saying "We think Cisco's lawsuit is silly".

Come on guys handbags at dawn...

Does this sound like another court hearing for Apple…last time they entered the court rooms it was for the use of Apple on music products, a trademark which the Beatles record label owns…Why don’t the just change the name to Banana?

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