Friday, September 07, 2007

Hunting season extended...


I think it is now time to make my feelings known, unless there was any doubt before...that is...

I believe that the Greatest Britain is going down the tubes…

Yes it is not a happy time for me to say this as I, an ethnic minority, you see I am Swedish and foreign and I live in a country where people do not think and do things as us Swedes… that makes me an ethnic minority…plus the fact that there is only some 30 odd thousand Swedes in the UK, give and take a few thousand.

Switching on the news today was depressing; a celebration of the great Pavarotti’s life was first on the agenda and then the funeral of an eleven year old kid…

Both of them had a passion for life and were talented in their own way, Luciano was blessed with a voice that many would try to mimic…then the poor kid from Liverpool had had only one issue…he was born in the Greatest Britain . His life was cut short due to a “turf war” between gangs in Liverpool…who has heard something so stupid in there entire life?…turf war in Liverpool…I have to be careful what I say here because last time some said something bad about Liverpool he was asked to go and apologise to the citizens…I am sorry you can’t haul me up there, I am an ethnic minority and I will not go an apologise for anything as I don’t care anymore…

I have had enough…Put yourself in this situation…a mother or a father, remember this is the Greatest Britain so the likelihood is one or the other, sit at home, hear the BMX bike squeal to a halt. Snotty kid comes in, sweaty…first sign there, child arrives home sweaty and considering that this child has not done any exercise in 10 years would be a great sign that something is wrong...

Second sign… the child smells of gun powder…you don’t need to be an expert in gunpowder plots to work out what it smells like, all you need to do is to wait for the 5th of November work out what every kid in the Greatest Britain smells like and there you are…

Third sign…the kid has a shower or a bath and it turns out that it is not Christmas.

Fourth sign…your kid brings the clothes down to the washing machine and says “mum do I wash my hoodie on 40 or 60 degrees

5th sign…your kid asks in the middle of your favourite soap if you can switch over to Sky News…that is when you, as a parent, pick the phone up and say…”my kid is showing some unusual behaviour” as you should start to think like this...did my son just have a work out on his BMX, stopped to buy some rockets for Guy Fawkes, eventhough it is only September, decided he smells and needed a shower and develped some sort of strange interest in washing his clothes and picking up on the news…if not CALL THE POLICE...if you are lucky you’ll get a proper police officer, hopefully older than your child, to come around the house and arrest the little bugger…

You can now make £100,000 from selling your story to a “red top”, get a headline, and at least 60 free ciders down the local boozer…piece of cake…

As long of course you don’t light that Lambeth down the pub…cause it is against the law…

Times like this we expect the public to go nuts…calling for a culling and a hunting season on delinquent youths…imagine if you had free range to shoot the little buggers after 8pm…get a licence at the library from Mrs Woods and go hunting…what a great setup…

Schools would love it…less disruptive kids in class…no need to pick up the litter from the packed lunches…the results would go up, funding would increase per kid and no slutty overweight mum hanging around the school after close shouting “Paris”, Chantelle” “Brooklyn” come here now…

McDonalds would loose out though…no birthday parties with goody bags and poor Argos would have to lay people off…

Well…as I said I have had enough, I am packing up and moving out…where, how and when is just another story…perhaps I will become a teacher in Mr Woodentops Tory government and teach children how to become patriotic…that is of course if they’ll turn up?…
Mr Sniper might have got them outside the fish shop at 9pm…

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